Nowt as queer as folk

It could be said that when it comes down to it, people are stupid. A person is a smart intelligent being with rational thought. People are dumb, senseless animals. However this isn't always the case.
For example at work today we have collated all stupid requests/complaints and chosen some of the best.

1. "Please move the tea and coffee facilities closer so that our guest's dont have to go as far." What this doesn't mention is that the coffee facilities were only 30 yds away, but they were down 6 stairs and through an open door. And by facilities they wanted us to move the coffee machines that happen to be plumbed into the wall.


2. "We cant open the fridge." Simple answer, try turning the handle. What was worse was that they were an engineering team.


3. "The headboard suddenly jumped off the bed in the middle of the night" She was the only occupant in the room, and the headboard was sound before she entered the room.


4. "A glass has managed to jump out of the bath and break itself all over the bathroom floor." Enough said.


5. "I thought I would steam all my clothes" Seems innocent enough, but at 3 AM under a fire sensor!!! Needless to say this guest wasn't popular with the other people in her party.


6. "I'm so excited to be here! This is the Solent Hotel isn't it?" Only 130 miles out love.


7. "I'm here for the Smith wedding" That was yesterday sir.


8. "I'm here for the conferance, am I too early to check in? The name is Smith." Two days too early sir.


9. "I'm running late for my flight, please tell me I'm near Heathrow." Welcome to Bristol, how may we help you?


10. And now for my personal favourite. "Can you turn the noise of the ducks down outside my bedroom window?" Um.... theyr'e real ducks madam.