Known me since yay high? I was born 5 ft tall!

My Mum, in one of her contemplating moods was sitting at the table this morning, her copy of the paper all laid out in front of her. She had insisted of fetching the papers from the shops this morning, on the basis of the fact it was snowing and she was feeling childish.

Sat there reading, probably an article on north sea dolphin frying/global warming- same thing?? She began to recite the story of my birth, not what any 18 year old wants to hear just after waking up. Well to be truthful, I wasn't awake, not by a long shot.

She told me that the first thing that my Dad knew about it was when he got a knee in the back, rolling over, this kind and caring creature, told my dear mother to 'go have a shower, I'll be up after.' Only to be told, that she had already had a shower and to move his mortal rump out of bed.

Setting off from home, he stopped off at the papershop (it was a Sunday, and they had bought a copy of the paper for my brothers birthdate), he purchased a Times for me - incredibly bright from the beginning- and a copy of the daily torygraph for himself. A quick drive to Southmead later and my Mum was installed into the bed- hers for the next 6 hours.

My Dad as I have said, is a kind and considerate man, therefore he promptly made sure that my mother was comfortable and sat down in a huge armchair to read his paper. After 10 minutes a Nurse berated him, asking 'Why are you not by her side, rub her back for christsakes!' to which his reply was 'Because I have another 102 pages yet!'

Needless to say he lost that argument and spent the rest of the time, back rubbing.
And that's where he stayed until I was ready.
He did have one other duty as tea boy.
I was a thirsty baby, but somehow his tea sent me straight onto coffee.
As Abraham Lincoln once said:
"If this is tea, bring me some coffee, and if it's coffee, bring me some tea!"