Wanted: A nuclear device with a 400ft radius.

Last night, just as I was heading out the door to work, I stepped in a puddle. Not normally a problem, but as I was about to continue my journey I was aware of a cold feeling coming over my foot. Looking at my shoe I realised all too late, that there was a hole in the soul, about the size of a 20 pence piece. Not good.

So this afternoon, we at the BT estate decided to take a trip to Brantano. Ignoring the crap Muzak, crap advertising and the next-to-useless shop assistants; the shoes aren't that bad. Plus they go up to a size 14. I'm only a 12, but there's always a growth spurt when you cant find big enough shoes.

So trundling through the selection of work shoes, trying a few on, sometimes mixing pairs just to see the result. I decided on a nice pair of black slip-ons. I sometimes have to go to work for 7am, never in the right frame of mind to tie laces.

The whole experience took around 20 minutes, a very respectable time for someone who just wanted his old shoes, but new. Realising that there was a good part of the day left we trundled around a few of the other shops that make up the Abbey Wood Retail Park. Matalan, Woolworths and Next Clearance they are all here; and today they were just full of rubbish. Now in the past they may have served their uses, however it wasn't the same today. Piles of stuff just thrown around. I know worn look clothing is meant to be in, but Christ, not worn in this way.

So my personal recommendation is this. Put a small nuclear device in the middle of the car park and blow the lot to hell. No-one would miss it. Perhaps we could have something useful there instead. And to show I too will sacrifice something, I'll put off my growing plans for now.