Been to the sea side today, god its cold!!! Didnt go in but skimmed quite a few stones. Had a hit the pier support competition.
On Paignton pier, as with most piers there is an arcade, and on the 10p one arm bandit, on his second go, my friend hit the jackpot of £5, all in 10p's. We had fun getting rid of them. He actually made money that day.
Tis a nice place, very quaint. Oh and cold.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Money Money Money
New Drive-Thru Cash Dispensers
DRIVE THROUGH CASH DISPENSERS TO OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS:
HSBC Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new'Drive-thru' cash pointmachines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leavingtheir vehicles.
To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities we haveconducted intensive behavioural studies to devise appropriate procedures for theiruse.
Please read the procedures which apply to you and remember them for whenyou use our new machines for the first time.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.2. Wind down your car window.3. Insert card and enter PIN.4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.6. Wind up window.7. Drive away.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.3. Re-start the stalled engine.4. Wind down the window.5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto the passenger seat to locatecard.6. Turn the radio down.7. Attempt to insert card into the cash machine.8. Open car door to allow easier access to the cash machine due to theexcessive distance from the car.9. Insert card.10. After "Invalid Card' is displayed, remove Marks & Spencer Charge Cardand insert correct Cash Point Card.11. Remove Cash Point Card.12. Re-insert Cash Point Card the right way up.13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside backpage.14. Enter PIN.15. Press 'Cancel' and re-enter correct PIN.16. Enter amount of cash required.17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.18. Retrieve cash and receipt.19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.21. Re-check make-up.22. Drive forward 2 metres.23. Reverse back to cash machine.24. Retrieve card.25. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slotprovided.26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.27. Drive for 2-3 miles.28. Release hand brake.
Monday, November 13, 2006
History
A little history leson for those who enjoy history.
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer.What's the meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty,regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability"."What gobbledygook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunitiesemployer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lestit be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-freeworking environments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It's part of theGovernment's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on withit....full speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in thisstretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle inhistory. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What?"Hardy: "Health and safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness.And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone upthere until proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle,Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-freeenvironment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuseeven to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing thedisability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under- represented inthe areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't letthe crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing intoo much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell themen to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny."
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of beingcharged withmurder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aidlawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partnersnow.According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in thisstretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you sayingthat sir.You'll be up on disciplinary."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of yourKing."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multiculturalage. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban oncorporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir.
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer.What's the meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty,regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability"."What gobbledygook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunitiesemployer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lestit be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-freeworking environments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It's part of theGovernment's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on withit....full speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in thisstretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle inhistory. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What?"Hardy: "Health and safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness.And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone upthere until proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle,Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-freeenvironment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuseeven to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing thedisability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under- represented inthe areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't letthe crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing intoo much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell themen to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny."
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of beingcharged withmurder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aidlawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partnersnow.According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in thisstretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you sayingthat sir.You'll be up on disciplinary."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of yourKing."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multiculturalage. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban oncorporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
General Interest: Post 75
Yup my 75th post, would have come a lot earlier had certain problems not arisen.
The main problem has simply been a total lack of time for getting anything done at all. University work has been keeping me busy, with around another 4 pieces of coursework due in within the next 4 weeks.
A second major problem has been that my lappy and me had a parting. This entailed my laptop having a fight with a glass of water, loosing... knackering its keyboard and being in for repairs for the best part of 3 weeks.
So for this time I have been using the University 24hr open access computer suite in the library. Such a depressing place, 60 people in at all hrs of the morning, all typing away and none of us wanting to be there. Ugh.
So hopefully normal service can now be resumed... What ever normal is.
The main problem has simply been a total lack of time for getting anything done at all. University work has been keeping me busy, with around another 4 pieces of coursework due in within the next 4 weeks.
A second major problem has been that my lappy and me had a parting. This entailed my laptop having a fight with a glass of water, loosing... knackering its keyboard and being in for repairs for the best part of 3 weeks.
So for this time I have been using the University 24hr open access computer suite in the library. Such a depressing place, 60 people in at all hrs of the morning, all typing away and none of us wanting to be there. Ugh.
So hopefully normal service can now be resumed... What ever normal is.
General Interest: Post 75
Yup my 75th post, would have come a lot earlier had certain problems not arisen.
The main problem has simply been a total lack of time for getting anything done at all. University work has been keeping me busy, with around another 4 pieces of coursework due in within the next 4 weeks.
A second major problem has been that my lappy and me had a parting. This entailed my laptop having a fight with a glass of water, loosing... knackering its keyboard and being in for repairs for the best part of 3 weeks.
So for this time I have been using the University 24hr open access computer suite in the library. Such a depressing place, 60 people in at all hrs of the morning, all typing away and none of us wanting to be there. Ugh.
So hopefully normal service can now be resumed... What ever normal is.
The main problem has simply been a total lack of time for getting anything done at all. University work has been keeping me busy, with around another 4 pieces of coursework due in within the next 4 weeks.
A second major problem has been that my lappy and me had a parting. This entailed my laptop having a fight with a glass of water, loosing... knackering its keyboard and being in for repairs for the best part of 3 weeks.
So for this time I have been using the University 24hr open access computer suite in the library. Such a depressing place, 60 people in at all hrs of the morning, all typing away and none of us wanting to be there. Ugh.
So hopefully normal service can now be resumed... What ever normal is.
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